Balrogs? Hah! Easy as pie. We elves can take one 45134768635632656743 stupid Balrogs anyday. No problemo. *fires volleys of arrows at the pathetic beasts and all of the balrogs fall dead to the ground*
Elves: HAH! Nothing is a match for... ELVES!!!
Me: Thank you for putting you lembas bread away, SammyLovesNarnnia1.
Me: COMPANY!!! MARCH!! *company of elves swarm across middle earth, wreaking havoc to dwarf villages and destroying any dwarf that stands in their way... and any I.R.S agent*
Me: Soon all those weak agents will be GONE. We elves will have control! And there's nothin' you dwarves can do about it!!
*gathers more of my Mirkwood friends and we throw loads of rotten potato skins at the dwarves, making them smell so bad that they call a halt so that they can take baths.*
*dwarves are fainting left and right from the horrid smell, but the elves stuff leaves up their noses so they can't smell it*